


Library Exchange.

by supaahninja



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, hella gay, jeanmarco, snk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2157294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supaahninja/pseuds/supaahninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>uhmmmmm jean is hella awkward and hella gay(hella). and this is another unoriginal college au enjoy tyty (i dont rlly write fanfic so go easy)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I guess I just never really meshed with people. All my life I've never really had that many friends, and the only friends I had were ones I put up a facade for. I've had one lasting friendship and that's because we grew up together as neighbors. Unfortunately Alexi decided to attend Virginia Tech. on the other side of the country. It's not that I'm not social or that I won't talk to people, it's just that, people seem to get bored of me really quick, or just don't have the interest to stick around long enough to get to know me to where I'm not boring. Most people just see me as a brooding 19-year old who has a problem with everyone, but really, I'm just shy and I realized a long time ago that I was tired of putting effort into relationships that didn't last. So yes, I'm admitting to you that I've never had a real kiss, or a make-out session, or cuddled with someone until noon instead of getting up, or staying awake just talking to each other half-asleep, or holding someone in my arms, or being in any kind of serious relationship ever. I guess college is a first for a lot of things.

I rested on my bed, finally able to relax after moving in all day. I still have a couple boxes stacked beside my dresser but they aren't filled with anything relevant for now. My roommate had already gotten settled in and told me he was going to hang with his friends for a couple hours seeing as it was the last day before classes. I simply nodded and continued my unpacking. I wonder what he thinks of me? I hope he doesn't try to ask me if I'm depressed or something. God knows I've had that conversation with too many people, and more than often it has ended badly. My hands rested on my chest as I tapped my fingers making a slow rhythmic sound. My eyes were half-lidded when my phone lit up showing I got a snapchat from Alexi. It was a picture of his campus out of his 2nd story dorm window. The caption read: "Hokies class of '18" and a random emoji. I smiled and clicked my phone off and turned over to take a nap.

\------------

I woke up to hear Warren, my roommate, returning from the Arizona heat. He was only mildly sweating and that because he had to walk across campus. The heat in Arizona isn't nearly as bad as other places. I remember the feeling of suffocating when I was on a family trip to Disney World in Florida. Thank goodness Arizona is more dry and less humid, although sometimes if I'm outside too much I start to seriously rethink my relationship with water.

I rolled off my bed and fixed my shirt which had ridden up my torso and was wrinkled beneath my armpit. I decided to make myself seem less of a loser and told Warren I was heading to the campus information center to look at joining some clubs. Although it wasn't entirely a lie, I had wanted to see if there were any art clubs worth joining anyway, along with all your other typical clubs, math, tech, gaming, photography, etc. As I made my way across campus I looked at the scenery, there was a weeping willow in the middle of a greenery area and there was a park bench just visible from behind the hanging flowers of the tree. It looked semi-secluded and a perfect spot to cozy up and read a book. I made note of it for later. I kept walking and tried to remember the layout I had been given a tour of days before at orientation. I had most of it down but occasionally I got a building or two mixed up. Such as thinking the chemistry lab was building A4 when it was actually B2 and A4 was actually live modelling art. I have to take one semester of that but I put it off until next semester because I couldn't bare the thought of having to look at a nude model for 2 hours.

I looked up at the University of Phoenix logo as I arrived at the information building. I opened the door and saw a girl with a glowing smile and dirty blond hair that went down a little past her shoulder working at the desk. She glanced at me and told me if I needed any help or additional information I could ask her. I curtly nodded and headed to the bulletin board that would show me all of the different clubs at the school. 

I glanced at the different titles and information sheets stacked neatly in plastic cubbies. A photoshop club? That sounds fun. I picked up the brochure and was skimming through it when I heard the door jingle behind me. I looked back over my shoulder and saw a young guy walk through the door, around my age. 

He had dark black hair that was parted in the middle but still close cropped to his face. His hair framed his chocolate brown eyes and assortment of freckles perfectly. His skin was tan but not too much to where he looked baked, it was like someone had picked a calm mellow color scheme for this person and god did it work.

He greeted the girl at the desk, who's name I learned was Jillian, and then started to head to the bulletin board. I quickly turned back to the board before he could catch me staring and I subconsciously ran my hand through my hair to fix anything that might be wrong. 

He looked at the different clubs for a couple minutes as I stared intently at a brochure for the physics club, wanting to seem as if I'm somewhat intelligent. After picking up two or three brochures he turned away from the board to return to the desk and talk to the girl again. 

At the end of their conversation he walked out the door and the girl looked at me while a knowing and slightly mischievous smile, my eyes widened slightly and my face started to blush as I realized I had been caught watching. I quickly turned to back to the bulletin board and collected the brochures I wanted and also the ones the other boy had grabbed just because I wanted to see what he liked, was that creepy?

I walked to the desk to ask the girl a question I had, I approached cautiously, still wary of the look she gave me earlier.

"So, are there any clubs you would recommend taking a look at?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Well, it depends on what you're in to." She gave me a small smile that was also questioning.

"I'm kind of an artsy person."

"Well we have a really cool club that shows you how to make dreamscapes, it was pretty fun for me. You may not be able to remember and draw exactly what was in your dream but it certainly helps you maintain the idea of it."

My eyes widened in fear and I gave a small gasp, she gave me a confused look.

"I'm sorry I hadn't meant to say anything to upset you or anyt-"

"No no, it's ok, I just sometimes have vivid nightmares and I certainly don't want to draw them out on paper, they kind of give me a hard enough time as it is." I looked down at the ground and bit my lip nervously. I hope she doesn't think I'm a freak or something because of my nightmares. She didn't say anything for a couple seconds and when I looked up she had a caring smile on her face and it made me wonder why I had ever thought she was a judgmental person in any way.

"Yeah, I can understand what you mean." She smiled at me again before glancing down at the brochures I have in my hand. "So what did you decide to have a look at?" I raised the brochures up and spread them in a fan.

"Oh, the photoshop class here is actually pretty professional and it gives you a lot of neat tricks to help with whatever you're doing, just make sure you sign up for the right one."

"I'm actually kind of new to photoshop, I downloaded it over the summer just to try it out but I never really got the hang of it."

"Yeah, they'll show you the basics and everything before the go into the specialized classes. But you have to sign up early for those, so be sure not to wait, they fill up pretty quickly, we have a good instructor."

"Ok, thanks." I smiled at her and turned to leave before she asked me one last thing.

"Hey, what's your name?"

"I'm Jean.... Kirschstein. Jean Kirchstein." I said awkwardly as I put my hand on the back of my neck. "... And you're Jillian right? I overheard you talking to that other guy." She nodded.

"So what's your number, I have a feeling I'm going to like you." I froze, I was hoping I wouldn't be in a situation like this, I'm terribly awkward and I never know how people will react.

"W-Well actually I-I'm not really all that interested in... ummm... a relationship.... or like..... anything like that..... well I am but.... I-I'm just not interested.... in....... I'm gay." I decided to flat out say it at the end instead of awkwardly stuttering on and on. She laughed before giving me her phone and holding her hand out for mine.

"I'm not asking to bonk you dork, I'm not interested either, I actually have a boyfriend. You just seem pretty cool." She started putting her number in and snapped a photo to save for her contact information. I did the same and then I told her good night and left to go back to the dorm. 

When I got back it was a lot later than I thought, I guess the walk took longer that it seemed it was. I changed into my pajamas, hearing Warren shuffling in his covers on the other side of the room. My clock read 10:43 and I started closed my eyes and thought about the guy at the information building.

He looked like an angel, not in the cheesy way as in beautiful and chiseled or whatever. But he looked like a sincerely nice and caring person and he reminded me of a marshmallow, though I don't know why. Maybe it was his skin color, in the sense where its only slightly tan like a marshmallow is slightly toasted but still gooey inside. And so from then on, I called him marshmallow guy.


	2. Distracted Studying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @justgirlythings

It was August 27th and I had already fallen into the routine of my schedule and classes. I hadn't really gotten to know anyone yet besides the girl at the desk on moving day, who I only occasionally texted throughout the day. I learned that she was actually her to study for becoming a veterinarian, she was going to specialize in bird care but also be able to help all sorts of animals. She had a bird in her dorm that she named Gill-bird and was only able to keep him in her dorm because she told administration he was a study subject, even though she wasn't taking any classes that required one.

It was late Saturday afternoon and I had just finished up watching Clueless on netflix. I made a hot pocket and snacked on it as I got all of my shower stuff together. I piled my books in a neat stack beside my bed so I wouldn't have to worry about gathering them when I got back. I planned on studying in the library today but we'll see how that goes.

I grabbed my towel and a plastic bag to put my clothes in. I turned the warm water on and sighed as relaxed my shoulder muscles from hours of uncomfortable laying. Popcorn isn't all that easy to grab when you laying down flat. I rested my forehead on the tile beneath the shower nozzle and closed my eyes. Grateful for the silence of an empty bathroom, which usually has at least a couple other people in here.

I squeezed out some of my chocolate axe shampoo and massaged it into my hair as I hummed a catchy song that came out a couple weeks ago. I finished up washing my body and headed to the sinks to brush my teeth, even though I don't usually do that until after dinner, but then again I usually wait to shower also. It relaxes me before I go to bed. When I got to the sinks I wet my toothbrush and looked at my reflection in the mirror, my hair was still damp and sticking up in a couple places from the towel and my eyes looked darker compared to their usual pale amber.

I was brushing my teeth and completely focused on humming and dancing that I hadn't noticed someone had walked in until they awkwardly cleared their throat. I almost choked on my toothbrush as it was shoved in the back of my mouth out of being startled. I could feel my face heat up as I nodded to the guy and looked down. I recognized him from my required math class, his name was Trent and he sat in the row in front of me. He wasn't really the smartest person but he sure didn't let that keep him from trying.

"Uh... hey...." I said as I turned back to the mirror. I could still see him hovering behind the cement wall separating the sinks from the shower stalls.

"Hey Jean. Freshening up for a date?" He gave me a cool smile and it made me feel less embarrassed about being caught dancing to a girly pop song.

"No actually, just hitting the showers early today. Feeling a little tense about our quiz Monday I guess."

"Oh yeah, I actually haven't even thought about it. Thanks for reminding me, I probably wouldn't have remembered to study." He laughed and grabbed the back of his tousled dirty blond hair. "Well I guess I'll see you in class." I muttered a 'see ya' before he turned to wash up.

I returned to my room and pulled on a new pair of underwear but kept the same clothes I had been wearing. I swung my messenger bag over my shoulder and gathered my book up in my arms, I was about to walk out the door when I heard my phone chirp. I made a small sound of annoyance before setting my books back down on my bed. I pulled my phone out and checked the home screen to see who is was, thought I kind of already knew who it was, who else could it be?

Jillian 5:23 PM : Hey u wanna come to a party tonight?

Jean 5:23 PM: I was actuaally gonna go to the library and study tonight. i have a quiz for math monday so

Jillian 5:24 PM: Oh ok, have fun? haha

Jean 5:24 PM: Hopefully >.>

Jean 5:25 PM: Have fun at youre party bein antisocial lmao

Jillian 5:25 PM: But im the one with a bf tho, but thats none of my business ;;

I laughed and clicked my phone off. The door handle was tricky to get open with all the books in my hand but I finally managed without dropping anything. My foot hooked around the door and I pulled back and got out of the way quickly so it would shut.

I backed through the library door instead of going sideways where I would have a bigger chance of jostling my books loose from my elbow. I gave the librarian a small smile and a nod before heading to a cozy little desk next to the wall on the first row of desks which I had claimed as my own sometime last week. 

The space was kind of seperate from the rest of the library so I was less likely to get distracted. Though I could still look up and see the rest of the people and things in the library. There was a small shelf on the back of the desk that was about a foot tall so my eyes peeked over it when I looked up. Usually i just saw kids racing to get their book early for a report before anyone else did, or a couple making out in one of the abandoned aisles. One time I saw some guy smoking week who then crawled into the crawlspace of a desk to evade campus security patrols.

But today I saw something different, but much better than the usual things running about. I was minding my own business, reading about limits from my calculus book when I looked up and saw marshmallow guy sitting at a desk in the next row. His desk was facing mine and it was two more desks to the right so he was a little diagonal. I tapped my pencil on my open notebook and quickly looked down when he looked up from his paper and his eyes met mine. He gave me a little smile before I looked back at my book.

I unconciously slid farther down in my chair so it would be harder to look at me and determine what I was looking at. I kept giving sideways glances from under my hair, which was slightly overhanging my eye seeing as my head was tilted down. I mean, I could at least make it look like I was studying. But over the course of the next week I realized it wasn't my book I was studying. I watched him on the tuesday after that, and on thursday, and also sunday, and every other day I saw him.

I didn't feel like I was being a creep or anything, he was just... interesting to me. Watching him made me feel calm, how he tucked his pencil behind his ear when he finished, or tapping his pencil and biting his lip to think of something, or how he smiled whenever he made a silly mistake. But I think my favorite was when he finally understood something that he couldn't get before. How his face just brightened up and he was smiling and cheesing like a nerd and it just made me feel happy to know he was happy. I guess he's just one of those people who's happiness rubs off on you, despite how annoyed you are or how annoying you would think he would be, it wasn't like those people who are always thinking you need them to help you or cheer you up. He was genuine, and just him being near you made you feel better about yourself or just in general. Sometimes I would catch myself leaning on my hand, intently watching him, and then I would look around to make sure no one saw me, blushing because I had been doing it. I figured out I learned more about him studying calculus than calculus itself, and as more time went on, that's exactly what happened, equations and theories were replaced by dorky expressions and mild lip biting that was cute and too provocative at the same time. I was content with that though, I never really needed to study anyway.

Could I take a class on him? For some reason I found that idea much more pleasing than my anatomy class.


	3. Hot Teachers and Awkward Blushing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jean got the hots for teacher ayyyyyyy btw brenton thwaites is real and he is super hella so go look him up he's 25 but idgaf ive been obsessed since i saw him in the giver and i just.... yes

It was my third week of pretending to study math when I got a tap on my shoulder. Almost jumping out of my seat, slinging my arm over my doodle filled notebook that contained various different people.

"I'm sorry I hand't meant to startle you." A soft male voice called from behind me. My gaze lifted to meet his.

"Well maybe if you didn't sneak up and-" I started to say something when I realized who I was talking to. Marshmallow Guy. "Oh, um. It's ok, I don't get scared easily so..."

"Then I guess I just caught you off guard." He laughed and winked at me. Fucking winked.

"So um......." Glancing at my notebook again I moved my arm to be sure I covered my doodle of him that just drawn a couple minutes ago after I had given up on one of my calculus problems. A blush automatically started to cover my face.

"Oh, I'm Marco-" Marco sounds very fitting of him, he looked light a Marco, I could use a Marco. "I just saw you looking kind of frustrated over something and thought that maybe I could come over and help you out."

"Oh yeah, my calculus homework." It was only a half truth because although I was frustrated with my calc homework that was minutes before and the reason I was frustrated was because I couldn't figure out how many freckles to put on his face...

"Oh, I took that last year, you have Mr. Thwaites right?"

"Yeah, he's a good teacher and all but math just doesn't really capture my attention as much as other things."

"Yeah he's really attractive and sometimes it's to focus on the subject right?" Did I hear him right? Did he just say what I thought he did? Not that he was wrong but... I looked but up at him and he was nervously glancing around the library and his face was trickling with blush. "I-I mean I just sometimes during lessons I could have not focused because I just found math more interest than him... or.... I mean... I said that wrong I meant to say I found him more interesting than math because I just thought he was cute and that's all I could think about and I don't want you to think that's all I think about or anything because I'm definitely devoted to my education and I still made sure I understood everything even though it was a bit distracting even if that distraction was more or less accepted and more appealing and I promise that I don't just think of stuff like that when I"m in class because I'm very devoted to my education and learning-" He stopped suddenly when he saw me laughing and almost falling out of my chair, my breathe came in short noise-ridden gasps and I had to hold my hand over my mouth so I wouldn't drool everywhere.

"Why are you laughing what's so funny." He gave a pouty face and looked to the side in a slightly annoyed dejected way.

"You were rambling." I stated simply after I calmed myself down. I still had a slight grin on my face and he blushed again.

"Oh I hadn't realized- I was just trying to explain-"

"Explain what? Explain being a normal human being?" I raised my eyebrows at him. "I feel the same way actually..." I gave a sheepish grin rubbed the back of my neck.

"Oh..."

"Yeah he's really hot and I already have trouble paying attention with regular teachers too.... let's just say it isn't my favorite subject."

"So anyway, would you like some help?" His bit his lip and looked down at his feet, awkward shifting his weight from one to the other.

"Um, sure... let me just, get my notebook organized and stuff like that."

"Okay, well I'm gonna grab my stuff from my desk and I'll be right back."

"Yeah." I waited until he left to move my arm and quickly erase all of my doodles of him which I had realized were a lot more than often. My eraser was half the size it originally was by the time Marco came back and it looked like it had been mauled by a cougar, the eraser shavings resembling pieces of flesh still attached but hanging.

"So let's get started." He pointed at my open notebook. "Is this what you're having trouble with."

"Yeah I keep trying to understand it but I always get confused and I don't even know where to stop so I just stop and look at-" I stopped myself just before I said it and glanced nervously at him. He gave me a confused look and I blushed but felt relieved that he hadn't noticed me looking at him. "I mean I start doodling."

He shrugged it off and I slumped in my chair, grateful that was over. I blew upward as my sigh of relief and blew my hair.

Marco sat down and got comfortable before he leaned forward and started our tutor session.

Now every time I went in the library after a tiring day I could sit down and enjoy(no I don't mean that sarcastically) a session of math tutoring.

Sometimes I would bring us treats like Starbucks or cannolis and other various baked good from the local bakery on campus. "Sugar Tooth" was a famous staple to the college students because it was known for it's killer Almond Joy and Pumpkin Spice cupcakes.

Even math was easier with him. I could sit there all day listening to him solving equations. Then I had a thought, what else was better with him? I didn't know that answer yet but I got excited thinking about spending the time to get one.


End file.
